I’ve been briefed what it’s like to work in UAE. I was skeptic at first because one of them was “don’t give your all because it won’t be appreciated.” Then I found myself shocked how true it was. Well, I was frustrated at first. Then I realized that my friend wasn’t trying to lead me on so, I began to heed all I was told. Here they are and I’ve added things I’ve learned along the way:
1. Do meet bullies head on. Bullies abound at work. Martyrs are persecuted over here.
2. Do be ready with signed documents or emails. People around you will always lie to save their ass. Be ready to defend yourself with hard evidence. Never rely on verbal agreements.
3. Do your job exeptionally well. If you want to do more than your job description, don’t expect to get well compensated. Expect more work at the same rate you’re getting but most probably you’re being passed on somebody else’s job.
4. Do practice effective communication. It may mean speaking their language (i.e. simple sentences using simple English words) combined with body language. People here can speak English but their vocabulary is limited.
5. Do learn the local language. You may want to know if they’re already conniving against you.
6. Don’t divulge everything you know.
7. Don’t smile too much at male co-workers or it will be misconstrued as liking them romantically. Try to keep a firm face instead.
8. Don’t settle for a less package at the negotiation table. Most local companies here will not give you a raise and you’ll be stuck with your package for as long as you’re with them.
9. Don’t talk to strangers. It’s common for men to call the lady’s attention. They only want to get laid. 99.9% of them are either married or has a fiance back home.
10. Lastly, don’t let anything put you down. Be self-motivated and be self-inspired. Be happy.
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Cultural Shock
Talk about culture shocks. I once went out with an Egyptian. I met up with him to talk about the commercial establishment in which he was the engineer-in-charge and I was interested to secure a shop space for my employer. To cut the long story short, I went out with him that night and he took me to Jumeirah beach. We just walked along the shore and we talked about his life before the divorce.
It was my most hilarious date ever. First of all, he asked me where I wanted to go for coffee and I said Starbucks. It was the only familiar coffee shop I knew then. He said no. He wanted to be “alone” with me so we could talk “without too much outside noise.” In other words, he wanted to stay in the car…and he said we’ll go wherever I wanted to go. Yeah, right! He bought our coffee at a petrol station at a dirham each. He gave me my cappuccino and told me to go back to the car. When he returned, he handed me a solitary red rose…also from the petrol station. Obviously it was his effort of a romantic gesture he learned from someone. It fell flat, though.
Anyways, when we were walking and talking at the beach, he was very mindful of my welfare. Was I hungry? Thirsty? Comfortable? He was putting all these effort because he just wanted a wife he can come home to, who will cook meals for him, keep the house clean and tidy, his clothes neat and clean, and all those domestic stuff. In return, as his wife, he will buy me a car, give me shopping money and, look after me so I don’t have to work for anyone ever again. That was literally what he said when he proposed that night.
Sorry! I told him I’m not cut out to live that way and besides that, we just met! He said he doesn’t need to know anything more if I can perform wifely duties and of course, disapproved my choice. He thinks that at my age, I should be a kept woman with kids. What he couldn’t understand was I will die by living like that. Just to end the night, I told him to try dating the girl he really likes back at Pizza Hut in Bur Dubai. That appeased him somewhat.
When he was driving me home, he made me promise two things: (1) I will not drink alcohol and, (2) I will not use gel on my hair. He was so serious about this he even said I should swear these on my brother. I agreed just to humor him. What I found very funny was his opinion on my hair. He thinks my short, spiky hair is too funky that if there was another girl sitting beside me with long straight hair, he’d trust the other girl.
So, I got a marriage proposal during the first date and it was also my first encounter with a chauvinist face to face. That night certainly gave me a blow by blow shock of my dating life and more so how different our cultural backgrounds were. I finally had it confirmed that there are still men stuck with the Middle Ages mentality. The period of enlightenment still has to catch up in this part of the world.
It was my most hilarious date ever. First of all, he asked me where I wanted to go for coffee and I said Starbucks. It was the only familiar coffee shop I knew then. He said no. He wanted to be “alone” with me so we could talk “without too much outside noise.” In other words, he wanted to stay in the car…and he said we’ll go wherever I wanted to go. Yeah, right! He bought our coffee at a petrol station at a dirham each. He gave me my cappuccino and told me to go back to the car. When he returned, he handed me a solitary red rose…also from the petrol station. Obviously it was his effort of a romantic gesture he learned from someone. It fell flat, though.
Anyways, when we were walking and talking at the beach, he was very mindful of my welfare. Was I hungry? Thirsty? Comfortable? He was putting all these effort because he just wanted a wife he can come home to, who will cook meals for him, keep the house clean and tidy, his clothes neat and clean, and all those domestic stuff. In return, as his wife, he will buy me a car, give me shopping money and, look after me so I don’t have to work for anyone ever again. That was literally what he said when he proposed that night.
Sorry! I told him I’m not cut out to live that way and besides that, we just met! He said he doesn’t need to know anything more if I can perform wifely duties and of course, disapproved my choice. He thinks that at my age, I should be a kept woman with kids. What he couldn’t understand was I will die by living like that. Just to end the night, I told him to try dating the girl he really likes back at Pizza Hut in Bur Dubai. That appeased him somewhat.
When he was driving me home, he made me promise two things: (1) I will not drink alcohol and, (2) I will not use gel on my hair. He was so serious about this he even said I should swear these on my brother. I agreed just to humor him. What I found very funny was his opinion on my hair. He thinks my short, spiky hair is too funky that if there was another girl sitting beside me with long straight hair, he’d trust the other girl.
So, I got a marriage proposal during the first date and it was also my first encounter with a chauvinist face to face. That night certainly gave me a blow by blow shock of my dating life and more so how different our cultural backgrounds were. I finally had it confirmed that there are still men stuck with the Middle Ages mentality. The period of enlightenment still has to catch up in this part of the world.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Inshallah!
Strictly speaking, it means “it will happen in God's time.” Well, I hear it all the time especially when I want something to happen on or before deadline. Instead of feeling good at the word, it is making me feel insecure and nervous. A lot of Muslims use them loosely and when something does not happen on the appointed date and hour, they say it was not God’s will to happen.
I remember the first time I had to exit Dubai, go to Kish (an island of Iran), and wait there til my new visa gets through. I was told that processing of visa especially for a first-time exiter takes less than a day but it can go up to three days, max.
I was booked to fly out at 8 am on a Sunday. I can only get a return flight when I have a new visa. So, when the PRO, the guy who prepares and facilitates the processing of visa, told me, “You’ll get your visa on Monday, inshallah!” I just had to vehemently reply, “No inshallah! I get my visa on Monday. Not inshallah, Monday!”
I heard different sorts of icky stories about Kish enough to send bad shivers down my spine. Beds are full of bed bugs, it’s a must for women to wear abayas (the women’s black over-all that practically covers all of the skin except for the eyes), no decent food to eat at…nothing exciting at all. It doesn’t help either that I had to go there during Ramadan when every Muslim is fasting ergo no restaurant is open during the day.
So, hearing “inshallah” was like hearing good luck from a dead crow. Who knows, they didn’t get their ass to move to make sure they meet the timeline. Come on, if we are in a western environment, excuses are not allowed. You must have a very valid reason why you failed to deliver on time. Most circumstances can be controlled. But some hide behind religion to justify their weakness, their irresponsibility, and their negligence. What they don’t realize is they are contradicting the teachings of their own religion thereby, making them hypocrites.
I remember the first time I had to exit Dubai, go to Kish (an island of Iran), and wait there til my new visa gets through. I was told that processing of visa especially for a first-time exiter takes less than a day but it can go up to three days, max.
I was booked to fly out at 8 am on a Sunday. I can only get a return flight when I have a new visa. So, when the PRO, the guy who prepares and facilitates the processing of visa, told me, “You’ll get your visa on Monday, inshallah!” I just had to vehemently reply, “No inshallah! I get my visa on Monday. Not inshallah, Monday!”
I heard different sorts of icky stories about Kish enough to send bad shivers down my spine. Beds are full of bed bugs, it’s a must for women to wear abayas (the women’s black over-all that practically covers all of the skin except for the eyes), no decent food to eat at…nothing exciting at all. It doesn’t help either that I had to go there during Ramadan when every Muslim is fasting ergo no restaurant is open during the day.
So, hearing “inshallah” was like hearing good luck from a dead crow. Who knows, they didn’t get their ass to move to make sure they meet the timeline. Come on, if we are in a western environment, excuses are not allowed. You must have a very valid reason why you failed to deliver on time. Most circumstances can be controlled. But some hide behind religion to justify their weakness, their irresponsibility, and their negligence. What they don’t realize is they are contradicting the teachings of their own religion thereby, making them hypocrites.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Of Witches & Bitches
I am Pinay and proudly so. I can't say the same thing towards other Pinays in UAE who think so highly of themselves for whatever reason. What makes it funny is they put up a front of being better than the next Pinay by looking down at them without realizing that they're dealing with, say a marketing manager of the mall and not what they easily assumed as another saleslady.
Where did this superiority complex come from? Certainly back home, they have very congenial personalities, very nice, very polite, and humanly understanding. Are they showing their true colors when they are in another country? Or is this an output of intense insecurity because they know they're better off back home if only they are more financially stable? They probably held better job positions in the Philippines rather than being one of the secretaries or receptionists in UAE.
We all leave home seeking for greener pastures. It may be to earn more or get an advancement in career. I left the Philippines for both reasons. I met a lot of Pinay old-timers who either made it here or are still struggling to make it here. Some embrace their good and bad experiences and used their experiences for personal growth. They are now wiser, more understanding, more humble, more helpful, and more sympathetic. Others resent their bad experiences and glorify their good experiences that they turn into a witch and a bitch without realizing it. I always choose to be a better person. It won't do me any good to belittle my fellow Pinays just because I'm luckier than them. I have no right to do that. I only have the greatest respect for all Pinays who stuck out to help their families and friends.
Drew Barrymore said it best in one of her interviews, “I’m not insecure. I’ve been through way too much f***ing sh*t to be insecure. I’ve got huge balls. But I’ve been humbled. That makes you grateful for every day you have.”
Where did this superiority complex come from? Certainly back home, they have very congenial personalities, very nice, very polite, and humanly understanding. Are they showing their true colors when they are in another country? Or is this an output of intense insecurity because they know they're better off back home if only they are more financially stable? They probably held better job positions in the Philippines rather than being one of the secretaries or receptionists in UAE.
We all leave home seeking for greener pastures. It may be to earn more or get an advancement in career. I left the Philippines for both reasons. I met a lot of Pinay old-timers who either made it here or are still struggling to make it here. Some embrace their good and bad experiences and used their experiences for personal growth. They are now wiser, more understanding, more humble, more helpful, and more sympathetic. Others resent their bad experiences and glorify their good experiences that they turn into a witch and a bitch without realizing it. I always choose to be a better person. It won't do me any good to belittle my fellow Pinays just because I'm luckier than them. I have no right to do that. I only have the greatest respect for all Pinays who stuck out to help their families and friends.
Drew Barrymore said it best in one of her interviews, “I’m not insecure. I’ve been through way too much f***ing sh*t to be insecure. I’ve got huge balls. But I’ve been humbled. That makes you grateful for every day you have.”
Settling Down in an Arab Country
Freedom!
Maybe not. Dubai, though an open city, is still a Muslim emirate of UAE. Public displays of affection like holding hands are not encouraged but couples still do it anyways and they’re not apprehended…until someone tells CID (the local police).
Dubai opened itself to foreign and Western ways by relaxing its laws. There are a lot of societal and cultural differences but they are so subtle that one will know of it only through experience. Most will be heard in the news…or grapevine, if you happen to be standing near a credible one.
Experience has always been my best teacher. There are things I’ve adjusted to, things I will always treasure, and things I’ve accepted and learned while living in another country. Five major things I've adjusted to in Dubai: (1) the constant sauna-hot weather; (2) work starts on Sundays and no work on Fridays; (3) getting the change from taxi drivers...yes, fils are still valuable; (4) the value of dirhams against the peso, and; (5) the 5x a day reminder of the Muslims’ prayer time. With a mosque in every block, it's easy to guess what time it is without looking at the clock. Everything else was easy and familiar.
Five things I miss and treasure back home: (1) Mom-cooked meals; (2) family and friends; (3) going to mass every week; (4) conscientious observance of work and business ethics, and; (5) common sense in people.
Five things I’ve learned in Dubai: (1) be tough so Arabs will take me seriously; (2) show my fangs so people will respect me; (3) wit, charm and smiles are strategic tools used in negotiations; (4) honest, hard work may also mean non-Western superiors can abuse my talents, and; (5) there is no such thing as a single Arab.
They say, when in Rome do as the Romans do. I'd add to that the advice of Academy Award winner Tim Robbins: "Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach." I'm miles away from home and my independence comes with a cost.
Maybe not. Dubai, though an open city, is still a Muslim emirate of UAE. Public displays of affection like holding hands are not encouraged but couples still do it anyways and they’re not apprehended…until someone tells CID (the local police).
Dubai opened itself to foreign and Western ways by relaxing its laws. There are a lot of societal and cultural differences but they are so subtle that one will know of it only through experience. Most will be heard in the news…or grapevine, if you happen to be standing near a credible one.
Experience has always been my best teacher. There are things I’ve adjusted to, things I will always treasure, and things I’ve accepted and learned while living in another country. Five major things I've adjusted to in Dubai: (1) the constant sauna-hot weather; (2) work starts on Sundays and no work on Fridays; (3) getting the change from taxi drivers...yes, fils are still valuable; (4) the value of dirhams against the peso, and; (5) the 5x a day reminder of the Muslims’ prayer time. With a mosque in every block, it's easy to guess what time it is without looking at the clock. Everything else was easy and familiar.
Five things I miss and treasure back home: (1) Mom-cooked meals; (2) family and friends; (3) going to mass every week; (4) conscientious observance of work and business ethics, and; (5) common sense in people.
Five things I’ve learned in Dubai: (1) be tough so Arabs will take me seriously; (2) show my fangs so people will respect me; (3) wit, charm and smiles are strategic tools used in negotiations; (4) honest, hard work may also mean non-Western superiors can abuse my talents, and; (5) there is no such thing as a single Arab.
They say, when in Rome do as the Romans do. I'd add to that the advice of Academy Award winner Tim Robbins: "Stay committed to your decisions, but stay flexible in your approach." I'm miles away from home and my independence comes with a cost.
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